Monday, October 5, 2009

Hanging By A Thread

My hands are sore from grasping my sanity so tightly. My mind is bruised from the force of her words. My eyes are unfocused, unable to see beyond the truth revealed to me. I'm twenty-nine years old, and my mother doesn't like me. She uses a creator's love to mask the hurt and to explain away her obvious preference for my brother. She is a flawed, maybe even damaged woman, yet I yearn for her respect. It's never given. I am never enough.

It's time. I need to stop judging myself through her distorted lens. She made me, but she's not me. I need to quit fighting for her approval and earn my own.

1 comment:

Eric said...

Her behavior is a comment on her, and her alone. It is in no way a comment on you, unless you allow it to be. That should become your mantra.

It doesn't make it better, it doesn't make it hurt any less, but it does make it easier to handle. I really wish I could say it gets better, but I haven't gotten to "better" myself yet. Hang in there. =)