Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Hope Springs Eternal

I'm in therapy for the third time in my life. Therapist #1 was convinced my mother was the root of my problems and didn't address the underlying depression that tempted me to drive my car off of a bridge. Therapist #2 had good insight, but was inexperienced and not clinically trained. After our sessions, I left her office tired and slightly weighed down by all the thoughts bouncing around in my brain. She left the practice a couple of months after I started seeing her and I decided not to see another person in the office. Therapist #3 has his PhD and specializes in Medical Psychological Consulting. He's interested in the root problems rather than treating the symptoms. I leave his office feeling lighter than when I went in. I'm less angry, less scared, and a lot more hopeful.

I have a new song I want to cling to: I Hope by the Dixie Chicks.
There must be a way to change what's going on
No, I don't have all the answers, but
I hope - For more love, more joy and laughter
I hope you'll have more than you'll ever need
I hope - There'll be more happy ever afters
I hope - We can all live more fearlessly
And we can lose all the pain and misery

I want to cling to hope. I want to change so many things. I want joy.

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